You don't have asthma, your pregnant
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
