I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
it hurts more in the daytime
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
