I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
