What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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