I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
