also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Randomize
