my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
