i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
