Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
