I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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