how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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