I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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