My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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