She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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