I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Sacagawea was the original milf.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
