where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
