it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
