I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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