ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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