2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
