omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
