I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
