Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
