i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
