its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
