I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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