Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
