seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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