so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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