i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
operation have a gay friend backfired
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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