I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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