I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
