I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Randomize
