it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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