Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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