rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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