Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
