fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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