that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
