I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The air was thick with penises
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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