My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
