I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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