were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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