why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
