Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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