Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
And then he peed in my hair
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