you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
