..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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