I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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