just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
