? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
