i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
