Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
