I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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