he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
