i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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