I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
