I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
