She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
